Real…or not Real?

Have any of you read The Hunger Games triology? Oh my…one of my favorite reads. Anyway…you know how later in the story, Peeta has to ask at times, “Real…or not real?”

I think that is what this post is about today, and I think its what i’d want you to consider as you read my blog.

(for the record…this is real!  i took this pic the other day out of our back door)

I’ll tell what prompted me to start thinking about this today:

I love when my readers comment or send me encouraging emails. I really do. I think encouragment is a gift that we can give one another, a gift that we all need! Your comments are often so very timely…almost like words spoken from God himself, deep into my heart, encouraging me in the call I feel like He’s given me. Please keep asking questions. Please keep commenting. In my insecurity, I need them so thank you!

But its got me thinking. I wonder if i’m putting off the wrong message on this blog?

When I first started it, I chose the name “A Small Snippet” for a specific reason. What you see on this blog is just a very very very small glimpse into a much bigger story. Truth be told…i don’t think I give you a very clear and realistic picture of what life is really like most of the time around here. You are only getting the small snippets, and since i’m the one writing the blog, those small snippets are most often things that I feel comfortable sharing with the world. Which means you are missing the bigger picture, because lots of things that go on around here i’d prefer to keep hidden.

For example: I don’t often take nor post pictures of the many many times a day that my house is in complete shambles…

or when my kids are fighting and screaming and hitting each other, or i’m crying over something that’s frustrated me. I don’t often tell you about the nasty things I say to the Hubs during arguments…

…or the many many many times (which I hate, but its true) that I raise my voice at my precious kids.

Or the roaches that run through our little place on (too often) occasion….like the brave little stinker that decided he was gonna come nibble on the Bug’s leftover banana this morning, sending screams all through our house once he was discovered. one of the few negatives about living where we live.

I don’t show you the piles of sand on my floor this very minute that I don’t feel like sweeping…and probably won’t until tomorrow…or the next day….or the next day…and only then because people are coming over.

I don’t show you inside my closets, where things topple out the second you open the door because they are stuffed so darn full.

I definitely don’t show you pictures of me without makeup on…or without some kind of outfit I like. Which is why you don’t see pictures of me that often on here…cause most of the time i’m in my PJ’s, unshowered, and the sight of my face might cause you to ask me if i’m feeling sick.

I also don’t tell you that we consider swimming in the pool to be bathtime, wearing the same PJ’s for 3, or 4, or more nights in a row still counts as clean, that I definitely don’t wash our bed linens as often as i’m supposed to (not even close) and that I often forget to wash the boy’s football uniform until Saturday morning when its time to get dressed for his game.

I don’t tell you how my kids disobey…alot…and sneak off and do things they are not supposed to do…and then don’t feel one bit bad about it when they get caught.

I also don’t advertise the fact that I forgot to pick up my child from school the other day. Yes…forgot…on only the third day of school. And he had to wait for 40 minutes, wondering where I was, before the idiot that is me figured out that it was early release day. (thankfully, he was totally fine with it, and only began to tear up when he saw me unable to control my sobs for the next 45 minutes)

I don’t show you the overflowing trash cans, the piles of laundry on my couch that need to be folded, or my slimy, fingerprinted back doors that almost never get wiped.

I don’t tell you about our bank account that is every bit short of impressive…or full…or even kinda full….or even kinda kinda full in fact, sometimes its downright empty!  Or that we haven’t picked up that cute kids devotional (Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids) that we bought with the best of intentions in weeks.

I haven’t yet told you that one of my all time favorite shows to watch is the Bachelor/Bachelorette, that I just might be following 5 or 6 or 7 of them on Instagram (you can make your own assumptions about me now) or that I have yet to miss an episode of the Bachelor Pad. Trash, I know. But I love it. (And i’m not recommending it, so don’t go thinking that I think you should watch it too!  but if you do, i can talk your ear off about it.)

I don’t tell you what a struggle friendships are for me, and that I live many many days feeling massively lonely. I don’t tell you that I am a grudge-bearer, and about the bitterness I harbor in my heart towards specific people who have hurt me. I haven’t told you about a story that is going on right now, that is not mine to tell, but that has completely devasted me, and given me a very real picture of how Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy. And its left me feeling hopeless and angry and out of control, begging Jesus to please come back soon.

And I don’t tell you that even though we live right on the beach, in the most amazing situation that we absolutely cannot afford but that God has figured out for us, with the ocean as our back yard, my heart is still unrestful, and still longs for bigger and better. Ugh.

My point is this: you don’t really see me for who I am. And if you are not seeing beyond the small snippets on this blog, then i’m not sure i’m doing what I set out to do. And i’m not sure i’m doing what Jesus has put on my heart to do. My goal for this blog is summed up in my tagline “a snapshot into the small snippets of life, to expose the Bigger Picture.”

and I have to ask myself…is the Bigger Picture being exposed? Or is the focus simply on the neat and tidy small snippets?

the burning desire in me with this blog is for you to see Jesus, in spite of me. I am afraid that all you see is me and my family, and even then, not the real us. And I don’t want that.

I have awakened just recently to the fact that I am an Image Bearer of the King. In other words, simply being who He’s made me to be means that I’m bearing the image of God to the world. I love that.

I especially love that because it doesn’t mean that I have to be this super spiritual girl to show the world Jesus. Good thing, cause i’m anything but super spiritual. I all too often feel dry, spiritually, and distant from God, because i’m way too distracted with the things of this world. I all too often find spending time with Him to be a chore, instead of a joy, and if that doesn’t make me super un-super spiritual, then I don’t know what else would. I am good…really good…at going through the motions, while my heart is far from Him.

And yet…He works in spite of me. Which is why I continue to pursue this blog…and the “job” i feel like He’s given me to do.

I know that part of writing a blog is to write about things that people want to see.  So i’m not saying i’m gonna stop posting about the things i’ve been posting about. There will still be recipes, and sewing projects, and house stuff, and DIY, and Clean Eating, and photography, and a slew of randomness thrown in. it’ll look the same.  cause that is life for me in many regards:

But those things bear the mark of the King, because He is the Ultimate Creator…there is no creativitiy in me that does not come from Him. I do believe that the contents of this blog can relect His very nature, and it doesn’t have to be only in a long diatribe about Scripture. He can be reflected in a homemade maxi dress, or in a thai noodle recipe, or in an Elf on a Shelf or in a 5 year old’s birthday party. That’s what’s so amazing about Him. He can shine through in very, everyday, un-extrodinary things…and then He can make them extraordinary because of His very Presence.

but I guess I wonder if you see Him?

I am hoping to ramp up this blog a bit. I’m passionate about it, I get excited about it, and think there might be a calling on my life through it. I think God is giving me a unique opportunity, one that fits me well. I want to be faithful. But I want to be honest. So just know that when you come here, you are only getting a very small glimpse, a very small picture, and ask yourself, “Real or not real?”

not because i’m lying to you, or trying to give you a picture that is untrue, but to remind yourself that there is a much bigger story going on beneath the surface, beneath the small snippets, and to ponder how we all are so very similar, so deeply in need of a Savior, and that Jesus might very well be in the midst of it all….in all the small snippets, as well as at the center of the Bigger Picture.